
At Santa Monica, shark tried to Venmo victim mid-bite.
At Malibu, shark was filming its TED Talk: The Power of Biting Intentionally.
At Myrtle Beach, shark bit a guy in a red Speedo. Claimed “he asked for it.”
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Galveston shark refused to bite anyone not wearing Crocs. “I have standards,” it grunted.
Outer Banks shark said bite was a political statement.
Bondi Beach sharks now charge a “flavor tax.”
South Padre Island shark used bite to critique dad jokes.
Malibu shark claims it was just conducting “involuntary aqua acupuncture.”
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